i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
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