He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
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