Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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