i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize