Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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