well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Who died my cat blue again?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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