I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
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