They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I had to cum in my sink.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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