3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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