Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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