who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
she smelled like a LAN party
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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