I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize