I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
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