You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
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How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
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The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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