Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
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Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
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She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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