my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize