Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
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You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
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My liver just had a heart attack.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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