worst night to have a conscience
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize