You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize