I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize