Someone shit on the floor
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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