why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize