So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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