Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
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