Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
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