I just saw a hot homeless man
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
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