Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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