I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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