Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
This is my gift to your gina
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I still have a little drunk in my system
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
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