My nipple is on Facebook.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
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He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
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I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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