Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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