He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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