Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
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He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
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there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Randomize