everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
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Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
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Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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