He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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