i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize