covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
You can't special order awesome
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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