He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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