so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
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