found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
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I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
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Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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