She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
I'm really busy with my period
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