WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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