Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize