a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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