Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
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