you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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