She's like a pop up book from hell.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize