Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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