How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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