u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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